My Social Media Will

Social media has quickly taken over your life. Now, it can slowly take over your death.

Nowadays, our Government is recommending you create a “social media will, ” and appoint someone you trust to assume your social media responsibilities after you’re a gonner as, ironically, your “online executor.” This confidant would be responsible for closing out email accounts, social media accounts, blogs and any other online presence you can’t manage from six-feet under.

Your estate, your trusts, your personal belongings will come and go… but your social media presence will last forever. It’s time to think about what happens to your friends, followers and connections after you kick the bucket.

To give you a better idea, I’ve decided to share my social media will with you:

I hereby give, devise and bequeath my social media responsibilities in the following fashion:

To my future wife, I leave to you my Pinterest account. Please pin the decorations from the funeral to my board. Do not tell any of my friends I had a Pinterest account.

To my best friend, I leave to you my Facebook account. Please deactivate my account immediately.  After three months have passed, re-activate my account and “poke” every single one of my friends to freak them out.

To my mother, I leave to you my Twitter account.  Because you have no idea what it is and hearing you mispronounce the twittersphere nomenclature is worth the risk of losing all my followers.

To my father, I leave to you my Foursquare account. Please continually check me into the funeral home until I become mayor.  I’m assuming this will only take three check-ins.

To my colleague, I leave to you my LinkedIn account. Please change my occupation to Professional Ghost. Only send connection requests on October 31 and change my profile pic to Slimer from Ghostbusters.

On this sixteenth day of May, 2012, in the County of Orange, I hereby sign this document and declare it to be my last social media will. If this will is not followed, I will haunt you.

What would you include in your Social Media Will? Do you trust anyone enough to handle your online presence?

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